Wednesday, February 20, 2013

You want to run 13.1 miles? That's crazy

T-Minus 4 days to the big run! My first half marathon, I still can't believe this is how I'm ending my first year as a runner. Running a half marathon, when this side of 12 months ago, I found running a half mile to be excruciatingly difficult. Yet, here I am, feeling incredibly confident in my abilities to BEAST up on my first half.

The half marathon is the perfect way to conclude this trans formative year in my life. The year I forever said good bye to my former self. The girl who was over weight, lacking confidence, and felt miserable in her own skin. She is a thing of the past. I still think  of her often and the things I learned from that time in my life. Why I lost myself when I was over weight. There's a Nicole Scherzinger song that I love working out to, Don't Hold Your Breathe. The lyrics are about lost love and an abusive relationship, but when I hear this song, I think of the abusive relationship I used to have with myself. I think about how self destructive and miserable being overweight can be. I imagine running away from the person I used to be. 


It took all the strength I had but I crawled up on my feet again

Now you’re trying to lure me back but no those days are gone my friend
I loved you so much that I thought that someday you could change
But all you brought me was a heart full of pain



You can’t touch me now there’s no feeling left
If you think I’m coming back don’t hold your breath
What you did to me boy I can’t forget
If you think I’m coming back don’t hold your breath
Don’t hold your breath


I think of that person as I'm pouring myself into my workouts at the gym. I thought of her Saturday as I dug deep to pound out my twelfth mile. I think of her every time I'm shopping and have to look for a smaller size. I think of her on days when I'm craving fast food for lunch. I think about her every time I look in the mirror and like what I see. I think of her when I put on jeans fresh out of the dryer and they slide right on. I think about her when I sit down and I don't feel self conscience about my stomach or muffin top. Thinking about her only makes me want to work harder, get better, get faster, get stronger, and continue to put distance between myself and that girl I used to be.
Left- March 2012 Right February 2013
Race day kinda feels like graduating from college all over again. Not only do I feel it's a major life accomplishment for me, but my biggest cheerleaders will be there too, as they have been in my big days in the past. My husband will be there, a few of my most dear friends, and my biggest life long cheerleader, my Mom. Knowing my whole heart will be waiting at the finish line only makes me want to run harder and faster. There is an after party to get to after all : )  I am so grateful and thankful for all of the amazing people in my life who have supported me throughout this journey to discover who I really am. I have never felt more confident, self sufficient, empowered, and strong. Running gave that to me.

People who don't run don't get it.  I know this, because I didn't get it for a long time. I remember last year, after the Sole Sistas running group at my gym had come home from the half marathon. They were all high on their accomplishment, ecstatically discussing their run, proudly proclaiming the intense feeling when crossing the finish line. They described it as, "One of the coolest things I've ever done in my life" and one woman said,"I felt like I'd just done something really great, like when I gave birth to my children" Say WhAt?!?!?! 

Honestly, at the time I thought she was crazy. It was just a run, and running was torturous. Why would anyone want to do that to themselves? These ladies were clearly insane.However, when being really honest with myself, deep inside I wanted to have the courage to do what they were doing. I wanted to feel proud of myself like that. I wanted to melt fat off of my frame. I wanted to feel the way they were feeling too, empowered. March - April 2012 Nike Running App Stats, at that time, I couldn't imagine ever running 5 miles or 10 miles, much less 13.1. My focus was to keep moving, and not walk.


Fast forward one year. I'm running faster, longer, and stronger. I'm also 30 pounds lighter, that really helps too :)

I'm not a solid nine miler just yet, and I really really want to be, but I know next year I'll only be stronger, faster, better. Four more days until the run. I am so ready! Taking it to the pavement is one of the best things I have ever done for myself. I said this before the Cajun Cup (10K), when I was already dreaming of running the half, I'm already on to dreaming about the full marathon. Look out road- I am coming for you! I get it now. I'm one of those people, and I wouldn't want it any other way!


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Daily Motivator




23 comments:

  1. What app do you use? Also how did you work your way up to running 1 mile? lol i still cant run 1 mile str8.. hoping to try and run 3 times a week on top of everything esle, i just feel like its soo hard.

    Help me out and give me trips!

    xoxo Lisa

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  2. This was such an inspiring post!! Not only are you kicking but and being an awesome role model for health and fitness, but you're also a great writer who can use this platform to motivate so many others of us as well! Seriously, you motivate more than you know, and I think about you and your inspiring blog posts (not in a creepy way that it sounds! Haha) while I'm running and working out! You are gonna ROCK that half marathon this weekend! Can't wait to hear results from it!!

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  3. I've been reading your blog for a couple of months now, but never commented. I really needed to tell you how inspiring this post is. I'm starting to train for a half in May and I'm scared spitless! As I read your post, you told me that it's possible and that I can do it!! Thank you!
    Elisabeth

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  4. You are so inspiring! I'm so excited to hear/read how your race goes. I'm running my first half marathon in May so the real training begins next week. I look to your blog and instagram for my motivation! Good luck!

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  5. LOOOVVVVEEEEE IT!!!! Everything you said is so so so true and unless you lived through those feelings and emotions you won't get it! I feel so proud of you and I never even met you! Becuase I know excatly what you are feeling and the amazing indescribable feeling you will have this weekend!!!!!! Congrats on all these amazing accomplishments!!!! XOXOXOXO

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  6. got goosebumps reading this post! You are so ready and going to rock this half!! I'm excited for you and the recap post too. You've come such a long way and have inspired so many people, you're just a rockstar. I'll be thinking of you this weekend....have a blast and enjoy every single minute!!!!

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  7. You're going to crush it! I started similarly (working my way up each distance) and even though I was far from fast had the best feeling finishing my first full last year. Can't wait to do it again, but I will have to with a second baby coming this June. Hoping to build back up to a half this October and work on more speed before attempting another full next Spring? You go girl! You push us all to do better! Can't believe the difference in less than a year that you've achieved:-)

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  8. I am so excited for you and know you are going to rock across that finish line! What an incredible way to mark this year of your journey. Good luck! You are such an inspiration to all!

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  9. I am so so so excited for you! Girl you are seriously my hero!

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  10. I bet that after party is going to be stellar! You are going to ROCK that Rock N Roll half! No question about it!

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  11. GEEEEZ I wanna be as awesome of a runner as you are!!! I so wish we lived close enough to train together (how many times have I said that?!?!?! If I had a dollar...) But seriously, girlfriend...be so PROUD of yourself because you are SUCH an inspiration. I am just amazed at the transformation you are making in your times and in your endurance. You are a ROCKSTAR!

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  12. I loved this. "The abusive relationship I had with myself." That really hit home with me...I've lost my first 25 pounds on my way to a 100 pounds total, and I already think back to who I was before I started working out and eating better. I don't like that girl, I really don't want to ever see that girl again. You have inspired me...I really want to be able to run. Thanks for the inspiration, can't wait to hear the out come of your race!

    -Sarah @ messofme.com

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  13. That's awesome! I've gained back all the weight I lost 2 years ago plus some. I have rently found my way back to running, exercising, and eating healthy. I remember the girl I turned into and I want to get back there SO bad.

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  14. Pardom my french BUT you are absolutely fucking amazing and my total inspiration right now for becoming the runner that you are today!

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  15. YAY!!!!!!!! Can I just tell you how excited I am for you!!! You are going to kill that half!! Amazing job girl!!!

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  16. Good luck on your half. (Not that you need it)! Can't wait to do mine. I'm doing the Vegas Rock N Roll in Nov. hoping to do at least one half before that. Love your blog. You make me want to go to the gym right now! (But, it's rest day).

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  17. This post gave me chills! I have my very first half-marathon this weekend too and this just got me so pumped up for it! I'm so nervous about not finishing because of plantar fasciitis, but I'll be thinking about this post for motivation during the run! So inspiring :)

    www.leangreenmama.blogspot.com

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  18. You are right on! You won't get "it" unless you work at " it"! I'm glad I can appreciate "IT" with you!! I'm super excited that you'll have your support system at the finish line that is huge. My husband has never done that and although I'm running for me there is always that little sliver of hope that he'll be there with the big signs. I hope that for you!

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  19. I just want to say thank you. It's because of you that I started running. I am on week two of couch to five k. My ultimate goal is to run a half next April.

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  20. I am so excited for you and your upcoming half...you will rock it! Enjoy every mile, even the hard ones because they will make the victory that much sweeter. Good luck and I can't wait to read about it Monday.

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  21. What an amazing change in 12 months. Your looking great!!! Good luck this weekend I will be thinking of you!!!

    http://footballbeachmom.blogspot.com/

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  22. Your before/after photos are incredible!

    Hope you had a great weekend!

    -Sheree
    The Hartungs Blog
    thehartungs.blogspot.ca

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