Friday, January 11, 2013

Weekly Weigh In- Putting it ALL out there


Good morning Elle Noelers! Thanks for stopping by! I know you're expecting the usually Friday weekly weigh-in but today is an extra special day for me. It's the second anniversary of my A-HA moment. The moment I realized I needed to make some big changes in my life style in order for me to live a truly happy life. It's been a long journey and I'm not there yet, but I feel it's time for me to share the nitty gritty with all of you. The bare bones of my story, including, gulp, numbers.

I follow so many of your blogs green with envy where women are fearlessly posting their weight. For me, that number has always been so intensely personal. Intensely personal, because I have always been ashamed of that number. I've spent years comparing my weight with other women, and newsflash, I'm not like anyone else. My body is as unique as I am, and the number that defines your relationship with gravity is too. I do however feel it is important for me to share, and know it's not something I do easily. It's taken me a long long time to get to this point. It's a number so many of my fellow tall ladies have reached out to me about, something to compare their weight against, because when you're 5'10 plus- you can't compare yourself to someone who is 5'5 and posting their weight, it's completely unrealistic.

True confession time: tall people weigh more than shorter people. GASP. Crazy revolution right there. As a tall girl (I'm 5'11 and 3/4 to be exact), I have always felt the need to defend my number. To explain why it's so much higher than a girl who is 5'6 or 5'4 or any other "average" height in that neighborhood. My biggest resolution this year, is to really own who I am. Own my decisions, own my body, respect myself, and stop trying so hard to please other people, and right now, I need to be me. That said, I'm finally ready to share. It's been two years since I decided to reinvent myself, to change my life, and to love my body. Sharing the big picture, it feels like completing the process. Let me be clear- I in no way shape or form feel like "I'm finished!" "It's over!" "I've succeeded!" because I'm not there yet. I never will be there. This lifestyle is a way of life, not a race to the finish line.....

I don't know how much you know about my story, but I have long struggled with yo-yo dieting and managing my weight, basically since puberty  I've always been a bigger girl, and for a long time, I thought that I should just accept that as my lot in life, the hand I had been dealt. I joined my gym, Personally Fit, in the summer of 2009 in a bid to drop a few L-B-s before a summer beach trip, I managed to wiggle off about 15 pounds and after the beach trip, I wiggled out of my work out habits too. I exercised here and there, but I never really challenged myself, and I ate whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted.

It wasn't until January 2011 that I would become serious about my commitment to my weight loss goals. Six months out from my wedding, a massive motivator, I saw a picture of myself, and I did not like what I saw. My cloths reserved for fat days were now being worn everyday and they were getting to snug as well. Since I'd been neglecting my gym membership and fueling my body with all the wrong things, I knew I had gained a large amount of weight. I was hiding from my problems instead of facing them.


Enter January 11,2011, the day is forever carved in my brain, when I got big fat wake up call. I had the flu and the doctor's office is one place you can't avoid that big bad scale. The number was numbing and the biggest I'd ever seen. 215 pounds, up from the 193 pounds I weighed when I joined the gym. I managed to get to my car before the water works started. I was a basket case, a complete hot mess.

Why was it so hard for me to manage my weight? How had I let this happen to myself? Was this my curse in life to "accept" my fat body? Was I destined to be a big person? I had zero confidence I'd be able to reach my dream weight, really love myself, and feel comfortable in my own skin. It was the darkest of feelings, shame, embarrassment, self loathing, and I wanted to nurse the feeling with a fast food run, peanut butter M&Ms, or buttered popcorn, somehow I resisted, thinking of the big bad, are you sure the scale isn't broken, number emblazoned in my memory. I drove home and devised a plan to say good bye to that number. I never want to feel like that again. I will never feel that way again. 

I began cutting out processed foods and all fast food runs, adding in fruits, vegetables, limiting my carbohydrates, and sticking to lean protein. I forced myself to put in 5 work outs a week, and I started feeling good about myself again. The better I felt, the harder I worked, the harder I worked, the better the results. At the time I got married, I weighed 180 pounds.


Mr. Noel has literally and figuratively stuck by me through thick and thin, I am so lucky to have that man.

I was over the moon, but I still wanted more. After my wedding I relaxed with my eating , healthy eating sometimes, poor eating a lot of the time, but I continued my work outs, by January 2012, I'd gained back 13 pounds.I was not going to fight this battle yet again. I signed up for Personal Training with a friend.

Personal Training was when it all finally started to click. I began logging all of my food each and every day in an online diary, My Fitness Pal. I was finally able to put the pieces of the food puzzle in place. We frequently discussed what I should and should not be eating and my trainer was never afraid to push me to my physical limits. I began to excel. I lost 20 pounds in those 12 weeks. I felt unstoppable. I am woman hear me roar!


June 2012 at 173

In the months that followed, I began writing about my experiences (HELLO BLOG WORLD! Oh how I love thee!), networking with other women in similar experiences, trading knowledge, stories of success, and stories of setbacks.  It's helped me to hold myself accountable, and push for my goals.

Finally, I started doing something I never in a million years dreamed I would do, I started long distance running. I started with a half mile, then a mile, and with each pounding of the foot, I began building a self confidence and self assurance that I never could have fathomed existed within myself. I started to really believe in myself and my ability to achieve my goals. I ran my first ever 10k in November and I'm currently training for my first Half Marathon, February 24th, 2012.  Running is free therapy, I'm addicted to the runner's high, and those fuzzy positive endorphins it fuels me with.

Today I weigh 158.9 pounds, my goal weight is 155. I will get there, if there is anything I've learned about weight loss, it's slow and steady wins the race.

It's hard for me to reconcile the girl I am today with the girl I was then. Two years ago, I never would have imagined I'd be training for a half marathon, that running 5 miles would be a short run, that I would literally need an hour plus a day to myself at the gym, or that I'd be shopping for size 4's and 6's, but most importantly, that I would really and truly love walking around in my own skin. I'm so very excited to see what the next year holds for me, and how much I'll be able to achieve through Operation Red Bikini!

2013 holds some big changes for me. While I am excited for the future, for the first time in my life, I'm thoroughly enjoying the present, and that is something I have worked tirelessly hard to achieve.

3.9lbs to goal- 158.9


Find me on FacebookBeachbodyPinterest, Instagram @ellenoelfitnessKeek, and My Fitness Pal!


Daily Motivator







56 comments:

  1. Thank you for sharing!! You motivate me daily. So, are you 5"10 or taller? I couldn't tell. I'm 5'7 and I definitely fall trap to the numbers when other friends are shorter.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You are an inspiration! You go girl!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. You totally rock Gisele! I'm so proud of you for sharing your number and honestly, I don't even read other people's numbers anymore because everyone's body is so different. I also have a quote that I love "It's none of your business what other people think about you". You are looking ah-mazing and I'm jealous of the gap between your thighs! I will get there at the end of #operationredbikini. Keep rocking it girl!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Amazing!! Once again inspiring me and others to keep at it. Thanks so much for sharing!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Good for you! I discovered your blog in my quest to add some of those new year's resolutions on to my big goal of feeling better about myself. It's not just about the weight, but I will admit that is a large part of what I need to work on - but baby steps right? You are incredibly motivating, so keep it up!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Congratulations! It's so nerve wracking to share your number. I just started blogging and I decided to post my weight and I almost cried hitting the publish button. You got guts girl!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thank you so much for this post! I am one of your fellow tall girls and you have been my inspiration and daily motivator! It is so to tell the world something so personal!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I loved this post. You are such an inspiration, and you motivate me every day to keep going. Thank you for sharing your journey with us!

    ReplyDelete
  9. thanks for sharing! You are so motivating and I LOVE your attitude. Thank you so much for doing this, I know it was hard. You are amazing chick!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Congrats for being almost at goal... Looking forward to that post!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Tears, Tears, Tears. I heart you in every way possible. You are so strong for facing this fear of exposing the lbs - this is a HUGE step. I am so proud of you and you should be of yourself. Thank you for sharing with us...

    ReplyDelete
  12. Get it girl! You put those numbers out there and BE PROUD! You worked damn hard to get there! You are so inspiring! I know that I wouldn't have broken into the 'decade' I am in without your food pictures, recipes, and your positive patty emails! Thank you for putting it ALL out there :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. Congrats girl, you've come so far and it is really really inspriring to follow you!

    ReplyDelete
  14. YOU, my lady, are an inspiration!! Your hard work is incomparable to anyone I've ever seen and I have so much respect for every ounce of dedication you put in daily!

    Keep rockin', girl!

    ReplyDelete
  15. You look amazing! Thank you for sharing! You are such a great inspiration to me, and motivator! I had no idea you were so tall. I am 5'5 and i feel like i also have to defend my weight, which is frustrating. I am currently 123-125ish. When I started my weight loss journey/lifestyle change I was 145. I thought that when i got to the 120s I would be satisfied. Well needless to say, I wasn't. I am still unhappy with the way I look. When I tell people how much I want to lose they are like, WHY?! I carry most of my weight in my midsection. I have these stick legs and arms. Clothes do not fit me right. I always say I have size 4 legs and a size 6 waist (when I was a little heavier those numbers were different :)). So i decided last week, that i was no longer going to weigh myself, except for once a month ( to hold myself accountable). I do not have a goal weight anymore, I am now going by how I look and how I feel, and how my clothes fit.
    Thank you for being a daily motivator for me on instagram!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Thank you so much for sharing your numbers! I'm a tall girl too and it's hard to relate to the shorter girls who post numbers in the 130s. Congratulations on being so close to your goal!! And thanks for inspiring and motivating us all :-)

    ReplyDelete
  17. I do the same thing with my weight. I'm 5'8" and all my friends are like 5'2" so I feel like I'm a heffer even when I'm feeling skinny! Congrats on your anniversary and you look AMAZING!!!

    ReplyDelete
  18. I have so much respect for you putting your numbers out here. You look amazing, and I admire your dedication and hard work! Keep up the awesome work!

    ReplyDelete
  19. I love you, Leigh Ann! So proud of you for sharing this. You are such an inspiration!!! You are beautiful inside and out. BOSS LADY! :) Thank you for sharing your journey.

    ReplyDelete
  20. I'm not gonna lie, I got a little choked up reading this! I'm 5'11" and have been feeling pretty darn bad about that dang number. I had my "aha" moment when I went to the doctor and weighed 193. I'm now down to 172.2 and still feeling pretty large. I saw that picture of you at the same weight and thought you looked great. You've opened my eyes to the fact I don't necessarily need to weight 140 to look my best. You look amazing at 158! Thanks for being a motivator and inspiration to the tall folks! :)

    ReplyDelete
  21. You work so hard and you are such an inspiration to me. You look fabulous and happy, that's what matters.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Thank you so much for sharing! Our stories are so similar! My ah-ha moment was at 205 lbs... and I am only 5'6! So that is a lot of jiggle in my wiggle. I know it can be scary to share your weight. Even though my height is "average" most of my friends are much shorter than me and so it is difficult for me to share my weight... I will never weigh 115... I don't want to. I just want to feel good and be in the healthy "range" for my height!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Thank you for sharing this! I too started my weight loss journey in January of 2011 and to date have lost 55 lbs. I have never shared my starting number with anyone besides my BFF and have a before and after picture sitting in my camera roll that I've never posted bc I was afraid. Thanks to this post I will share this info on my 2 year anniversary!!! Thanks for being a great motivator not just in weight loss but in being a strong woman!!!

    ReplyDelete
  24. I absolutely freaking LOVE your story! You're such a tremendous inspiration to me!! I'd never considered how hard it would be to compare weights for taller girls (too busy envying your long legs, I guess), but it makes sense. Because I'm squat and short, I pulled up a BMI chart to get a better picture, and Leigh Ann, you are ROCKING a lower-half-of-the-normal-range BMI! Seriously, I'm so impressed!! My goal weight is 135, which would give me a BMI of 23/24. Currently, you're at 21/22. My skinny husband has a BMI of 21 and he has no fat on him whatsoever. The fact that you're the same BMI as Pete (who has no boobs or butt)? That is freaking IMPRESSIVE!

    ReplyDelete
  25. I understand completely as a tall girl!!! In college I was up to 212 at my highest (non pregnant), got down to 180 at my wedding, and currently sitting at 168.2 this morning at 5'11. I'm only sporting size 10 pants so losing 10 more lbs and dropping to a 6 like you amazes me! ...or maybe I just have momma hips. ... Anyways I started to feel better about my weight when at 180 my husband guessed it right on the dot... Bc he's the same height as me. Why wouldn't we weight similar... It's great for a guy to weight that much, why not a girl?! We just want to be dantity when we have always been known as the "big" girls...

    ReplyDelete
  26. Way to go! You are an inspiration! I stalk your instagram, pinterest, blog...etc just to see what you're eating and what you are doing to get where you are! Thanks for sharing!

    ReplyDelete
  27. GOOD for you girl. That number is nothing to be ashamed of, I'm sure it feels like a relief in a way just to finally say it! You've done so well, and you did it the right way. be proud <3

    ReplyDelete
  28. Thanks for sharing, truly inspiring!

    I am 5'2" but my mom and sister are both right at 6 feet. I have always struggled with being able to share with them cause when I am 180 and having a down day and need to share they would say things like I wish I weighed 180. So frustrating.

    Way to go! You look awesome!

    ReplyDelete
  29. I am so glad that you decided to make this post. I feel so connected and inspired by you. I felt the exact same way that you did. I kinda just accepted the fact that I would be a big girl, and never, ever thought that I would be thin. Now I have pledged to fit into a red bikini!

    I also had an aha moment, and saw a number so large that I will never be the same. I use that number to fuel every single work out.

    Thanks for sharing! You truly are a boss lady! :)

    ReplyDelete
  30. You are amazing! GReat post! I can't wait until the day when I am brave enough to post my number! :)

    ReplyDelete
  31. You are amazing! I'm so proud of you and happy for you that you finally were able to share that number. It is not an easy thing to share. Until I was able to put some distance between myself presently and my number I was afraid too. I didn't tell my boyfriend for months how big I had actually gotten because I was so ashamed. It's a bit freeing once you put it all out there. You are awesomeeee! Happy Friday :)

    ReplyDelete
  32. Thank you for sharing! I am at the "I can never be this way again" point that you were that day at the doctor's office. Reading your story is so inspiring to me - you are a true Boss Lady =)

    ReplyDelete
  33. You are such an inspiration! Thank you so much for sharing. I too am a tall girl and totally understand the numbers game. It's great to have someone that I can relate to that's been where I am now. I have so much to look forward to and you are proof that I can do it!

    ReplyDelete
  34. OH MY GOODNESS :) I have been waiting for one of these posts :) You are awesome, thank you for putting your numbers out there - while I am a half a foot shorter than you and can by no means compare, I am so proud of you for doing this! You inspire me and tons of other people - to that I say thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  35. I am so inspired by you!!! Thank you so much! I feel the same about my number! I am ashamed of it and feel that if anyone knows I would die!!!! I started my blog because of you an a few other blogs I read! I could not be doing what I am doing without y'all!!!! Thank you so much! I know how hard this post has to be for you! Thank you so much!!!!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  36. SO proud of you girlfriend. This is so inspiring to me as I am trying to lose a few right now!! You are so beautiful, keep up the good work!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  37. You are so awesome and look amazing! I doubt any of us ever thought for a second that you wouldn't be at your goal weight! You rock!

    ReplyDelete
  38. All your hard work I mean like crazy hard work has paid off. You look a amazing no matter the number:) I hate the dang number and I hate the comparisons. You are right everyone is different. Everyone carries there weight differently. Great job!!! And the fact that your sharing your story with all of stalkers is amazing. You are a class act and I hope you realize how many people's lives you touch and how many people you inspire everyday!

    ReplyDelete
  39. Congratulations!! I cannot imagine how hard it was to post your weight to the world. 3.9 lbs. to go is awesome! You will be there in no time. Thank you for all that you put into this blog. You have become one of my biggest inspirations. Happy Friday!!

    ReplyDelete
  40. Yay for you TALL GIRL! I can't relate to that fear of the number--I'm 5'10" and I used my "big" number as a crutch BECAUSE I'm tall. You are awesomesauce! And honestly even more motivating because like you said, its hard to compare sizes/numbers with the tiny chics. Now I know a size 4/6 is possible. Being in the 150's IS POSSIBLE for me. I didn't believe that before this moment. I thought I'd have to be in fitness model shape or too skinny. Hello B slap. I'm already working my fanny into health but I do believe I'll need to adjust my goals a bit. Thanks lady. You rock.

    ReplyDelete
  41. You are a true inspiration and real life motivator! I love reading your blog. Thanks for giving me motivation every day. You are a bad ass chick and you look amazing. I'm a taller girl too 5'8" and when I look at other people's stats I sometimes get depressed. Today you made tall girls like me embrace our numbers and not have to feel like we have to be 120 pounds. Thanks Leigh An and keep up the awesome job...you will be at 155 before you know it.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Congratulations! You are such a motivater! I love reading your upbeat posts. Keep up the hard work!

    ReplyDelete
  43. This was honestly one of the most motivating blog posts that I have read, not just of your blog but of any! I am a tall girl, 5'9" so tall, but not quite your height, I am ready to lose the weight, it is time and I am so glad I read this! You are an inspiration! Thank you so much!

    ReplyDelete
  44. Thank you for the inspiring honesty! Your story is very motivating. I have been on my journey for a little over a year and feel like I should be farther along when I read yours and others blogs, but hearing that this has been a two year process for you helps me to know that my journey though never ending is still in the middle stages. Again, thank you and I can't wait for your post when you make your goal...you will do it!

    ReplyDelete
  45. We are soul sisters, for real. I read this and just cried because so much of it sounds just like me. You're amazing and inspiring and I'm so glad I stumbled across your blog!! I am so thankful to have wonderful friends like you who know what I'm going through and who motivate me on a daily basis!

    ReplyDelete
  46. You are amazing! Don't ever be ashamed. You are more than a number on a scale! You are such a beautiful girl! Thank you so mich for being a great motivator.

    ReplyDelete
  47. Great job lady!

    I have very similar anxiety/thoughts about sharing my weight, but when I finally posted it to the world, it was so liberating. I felt free from that number for the first time ever! Isn't it great??

    Kudos from one tall girl to another :)

    ReplyDelete
  48. Yesterday, I wanted to cry after reading your blog b/c I felt like I will never get there. I had a bad day and ate pizza, all while looking at your blog, Megans, and Mama's. I felt like I was grieving food or something. Like I'll never get to where you girls are. After being up all night being sick after eating that pizza, I realized, this is nothing to be sad about. I have to get it through my head im not a fat girl anymore. I will reach my goal of 15 more pounds. It does take time. It will get easier. I AM worth it. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  49. Inspriational! I've had my 40 lbs. weight loss moment TWICE! I can't wait to have it again and NEVER have to wish for the moment for the rest of my life.

    ReplyDelete
  50. I am 5'10"... so I know how you feel about having to explain your weight... I STILL havent gotten the guts to post my weight, maybe when I am close to my goal weight like you are I will... I am going through a similar thing like you did, lost a lot of weight for my wedding and then let it creep back up over the past 8 months... and now I am taking charge again, this time for good!

    Congrats to you for this big step in posting it AND for being so close to your goal... you look amazing!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  51. God, we're all so nosey and just wanted to know that number on the scale. :) Isn't crazy how we all get motivated by seeing each other's numbers. I am so glad you pointed out your height the the differences there... But at the same time, I cannot even fathom you weighing more than 130 pounds. You are so tall and lean.... in your next life, you need to do America's Next Top Model. But for real, thanks for the motivation, friend!

    ReplyDelete
  52. You're adorable! Great story, thanks for sharing & representing for the tall ladies;-)

    ReplyDelete
  53. Just catching up on your blog! LOVED LOVED LOVED this post! You are amazing!!!! Congrats on all your success!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  54. I'm a new reader of your blog, but I love it!

    ReplyDelete
  55. Girl, I've saved this blog post for future reference. I love your honesty and what you had to say.

    ReplyDelete