Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Am I about to burn down the house? All for a skinny Mexican pizza?

Good morning and Happy Wednesday! Can you believe we're already half way to the weekend? Time just keeps ticking faster and faster! Last week, I challenged myself to try at least one new "skinny" recipe a week to keep my inner fat girl happy with carbs and cheese. Can't live without that ya'll! I did the ribs on Sunday, but only because I was forced into it, and last night I was craving something Mexican. I decided to try this Skinny Mexican Pizza that I pinned awhile back. It's based off a Taco Bell recipe and I really love Taco Bell ya'll. T-Bell love is all part of my present weight predicament, Taco Bell just loves loving me back. Here's the link to the original recipe.

The recipe calls for whole wheat flour tortillas, but I had left over corn tortillas from the skinny enchilada lasagna I did last week. The corn tortillas have less calories than their flour counter parts and I didn't have to buy any more. This seems like a reasonable substitute correct? Yeah, I thought so too. I did still need to go to the store for other supplies, but luckily for me, my husband went after work so I could get in my afternoon workout. The first step in the recipe is to coat the tortillas with canola oil ( I used vegetable oil) and put them in the oven 4-5 minutes each side to broil. I got home from the gym, and my husband was at the store getting the rest of the supplies, so I decided to go ahead and start prepping the tortillas while I waited on him. I put six tortillas brushed in vegetable oil on a cookie sheet in the oven on broil for 4-5 minutes. Took them out and they looked just like the picture from the original recipe. I flipped them over and put them back in the oven to crisp the other side, just like the instructions said. I decided to sit down on the couch, play on my phone, watch the news, basically waste a few minutes. About 3 minutes later, I smell something crisp and smokey coming from my kitchen. I'm not terribly alarmed, I am crisping tortillas here people, and I'm reading a crazy funny email from a friend. 30 seconds later, the smell is getting stronger and I see our beloved pet kitty cat make a mad dash from the kitchen to the back of the house. Begrudgingly, I get up to investigate. I'm not alarmed or feeling rushed, I'm still reading the email with my phone in hand. I open the oven door, and I'm very fortunate to have my hair pulled back, or I may have lost all of it. This must be the universe's way of laughing at me, I've just gotten way to comfortable in the kitchen.Simultaneously, I slam the oven door closed and drop the phone on the floor.  I'm stunned. My entire oven is engulfed in flames. Immediately, all kinds of extremely colorful language starts falling from my occasionally lady like mouth, I'm in panic mode people. I'm jumping around crazy lady style.  My oven is on f*cking FIRE.This image briefly flashes across my memory

 I reach over the stove top and cut the oven off, all kinds of black smoke is now coming from the vent. I'm panicking, majorly panicking, I open the oven again, because I needed to make sure I really just saw a bonfire happening in the middle of my kitchen. Yep, the fire is still raging away, and now I've just given it more oxygen. My husband isn't home and I have to deal with this all by my little self. I'm scared, my heart rate is up, am I about to burn down the house??? All for a skinny Mexican pizza?  How do you put out a fire? Stop drop and roll? No no that's if you're on fire stupid. Where's the fire extinguisher? This is all internal monologue people. What's rapidly falling out my mouth is way to vulgar to publish here. Fire extinguisher. Under the sink. I yank the fire extinguisher from it's hiding place, pull out the pin, wrench open the oven, the fire is starting to lick it's way outside the stove while the house is rapidly filling up with smoke. I'm about two milli seconds away from dusting my oven with all that messy white fire extinguisher stuff when somewhere in the dark recesses of my mind I remember water puts out fire. Rapidly, I fill up a glass with water and toss the contents in the direction of the flames concurrently hitting the ground covering my face with my new best friend, the fire extinguisher. Obviously, throwing water on a fire was going to make it explode or something because that seems logical in this scenario. The fire goes out. I completely collapse on the floor clutching the fire extinguisher to my chest while I collect myself. The fire alarm is still going off, but with the fire out my motor functions are slowly returning. I crawl on all fours to the front door and open it, gasping for air like the melodramatic crazy lady I am. I'd love to say my husband walked up right then and I had to explain myself, but he missed the entire episode. I'm sure this would have been extremely comical to an outside observer, but at that moment in time, this shit just wasn't funny. I'm so over this Mexican pizza.  Here's what remained of those 6 corn tortillas that went into the oven- note there are only five shadows of a tortillas remaining.

Never one to give up on my quest to cut the calories, I decide the show must go on, but on top of the stove. I'm not touching that oven again for a while. My Momma didn't raise no fool.

 This is how I prepared all 12 tortillas. It took awhile.

My husband and I did have a nice long laugh about this, but only because it ended well. I swear to you it was 30 seconds away from being a major crisis. I'd say the whole episode probably lasted about 30 seconds, but it felt like eons to me. I'll most likely never make skinny Mexican pizza again, because this happened to me. No, I'm not kidding.

The majority of the ingredients went into making the turkey meat taste like ground beef. Personally, I like the taste of ground turkey and ground beef. However, the recipe was successful in disguising the turkey flavor.
It even looked like ground beef once prepared. Be warned, this will taste like lean ground beef, not that ooey gooey fattening stuff they're serving up at Taco Bell at 3am. I know you're upset, but it's gonna be ok.

This did turn into a really great skinny meal. Moral of the story however, use flour tortillas if you are going to broil them, not corn tortillas people. Additionally, use a pan that will catch a grease drip, not a flat pan like me. Sheesh.
Here's last night's dinner for a total of 343 calories:

This was a really great meal, but I won't be able to get past the fact that I nearly lost all my worldly possessions to make it. Recreate at your own risk.

Phew. Reliving all that was stressful.

Other than nearly burning my home to the ground, Tuesday was a great day. I got in two work outs and didn't cheat on my diet. All and all a great day! Today I'm going to do my regular HIIT workout class and 337 Fit Club. I'll probably prepare a Lean Cuisine for dinner, because microwaves are safe ya'll. The past two mornings I've had to do breakfast on the run- no time for egg whites and turkey bacon. Here's one of my favorite on the run breakfast meals:

McDonald's Fruit & Yogurt Parfait without granola will only set you back 100 calories and $1.08. Not bad huh? Here's another breakfast on the run favorite- Luna Bars!

The Luna Bar will set you back 180-190 calories, but it's so good ya'll and so good for you!

Wishing you all a happy and flame less Wednesday! Stay safe people!

Daily Motivator

1 comment:

  1. Flour tortillas. Got it. I'm of two minds when it comes to cooking tortillas. On one hand, if I don't adequately heat the chips, they might crumble and not bear the form that they ought to have. On the other hand, the pan may catch fire. So yeah, a proper pan is a must, but toasting them straight in a gas stove could also be a good substitute. Precision and care is really needed to get those chips right.